Being Two Must Be Rough!

Because it's pretty darn rough just being around it.

Roman was an angel at 2. In fact, I thought he was harder at 3 than 2 and even that went pretty smooth.

Marisa didn't have any harder time being 2 than she did at any other point in her life. Her life is hard, but she's getting better and controlling herself.

Ezra... Is another story.

This kid HATES being two!

We have always gone to the grocery store all together. It's worked until a few months ago things started to go down hill.

Saturday was the last straw.... I am never taking that kid to the grocery store again.... EVER!

We entered the store, he didn't want to ride in the cart so I told him he had to stay by us if he wanted to walk.

We didn't make it down one isle before he wanted up. Since I'm trying to gather groceries, juggle my list and the coupons... up, is not an option. But the cart is.

Commence first total meltdown. And when Ezra cries, the next city hears it.

I ignore it, continue to gather the veggies we need for the week and try to barter with the produce guy... "I'll trade you 10 apples for the 2 year old heap over by the potatoes".... He doesn't think it's a fair trade.

I pick him up and move him to the baking isle, where he plops on the floor and continues to scream.

We start walking. Marisa and Roman beg us not to leave him. I tell Roman to stay with him as we move to the next isle. He doesn't care if we leave him, so he doesn't budge... He's still screaming. Roman starts dragging him.

I go back, pick him up and bring him to the cart and try to hold him down long enough to strap him in, only the buckles are broken. He screams some more. I keep checking things off the list and moving him from isle to isle, sometimes leaving him crying with a helpless 6 year old by his side. He's already lost privileges to a sucker at checkout at this point.

In the condiment isle I attempt once again to strap him in when a nice lady asks if my kids can have some gum as a distraction. I know better, but I accept the kind gesture. Ezra stops crying and tries to open it but can't. I offer to help. Commence second melt down. I take away the gum, rip him from the cart and take him to the car kicking and screaming.

Shane, comes out to take my place while I finish shopping. He cried the whole time. He didn't get his gum.

Church.... same scenario. I think the people who often sit next to us think I'm cruel because I don't bring anything for my kids. No snacks, No coloring books, no books.. Why? They fight over them. We've been doing this for 6 years and the "distractions" only cause more problems. They are allowed to bring one small toy. That's it! I tried re-introducing coloring books two weeks ago and it was an absolute disaster. Roman does get a word find book because it holds no value to the other two.

Ezra usually starts to whine sometime after the sacrament because he's bored. Once he starts he does not stop. EVER! The lady sitting next to us hands me a pack of fruit snacks. PROBLEM. I have 3 kids. If I give Ezra snacks to stop the crying the other two start wailing. It doesn't solve anything. So I tried to split them up so everyone could have them, but Ezra was NOT pleased..... MELTDOWN!

TWO?...... GO AWAY!!!! 

I don't think three is going to be much better though. :(

Six: A whole new cast of characters

Uggg. These next few chapters are going to be hard. In fact, I actually started writing this story two times in the last year, and I quit before I got far because of these chapters.  I've already lost sleep just thinking about it. Silly huh? I know, I'm pathetic.  Maybe that just goes to show how hard it was. I still get a big old lump in my throat just reading the end of the last chapter:  Mom... if your reading this, you can just skip the next few chapters, I wouldn't be offended or anything.

Also, be prepared. This one is LONG... like twice as long as the last one, but I couldn't find a good place to cut it in half and keep you on your toes. So, grab a snack, get comfy.... EDIT: Shane says it's too long, so I shortened it. If you already read it, great, if not, the rest will be up in a few days. :)

 In case you need to catch up:


It Begins
Deux
Trois
Quatre
Cinq

It took everything I had to not say "forget this" and run after them, begging them to take me home. I held back tears as I sat there alone. I thought I couldn't possibly feel any worse than I did at that moment. Boy, was I wrong...

I didn't sit there long before my 10:00 P.M. flight started to board. There was a little relief in moving. Something about holding myself up and getting on that plane even though it was very scary was... I don't know, a small victory. I was going, so I might as well be brave and get it done.

I got on the plane, had a short conversation with the 30 something year old man sitting next to me and got out my headphones. I wasn't in the mood to chat. Everyone was finally on board and it was time to pull away from the terminal only we didn't. We sat and sat and sat. For TWO HOURS we sat there packed like sardines into a relatively small plane with no explanation whatsoever about when we might move. I tried to keep my nerves under control since I was already an emotional train wreck. I listened to music, read every magazine within reach and wrote in my journal; it read something like this "WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?!!!!!" And I just about threw myself out the emergency exit on to the tarmac. Finally, we pulled away and we were off.

I had a change of planes in Las Vegas before flying to Ft. Lauderdale however my 1 hour 45 minute layover was cutting awfully close with our delay. At first I was sure I wasn't going to make it. Then, as we got closer, I thought I might just make it. I scrambled out of the plane, asked the flight attendant where my next plane was and ran as fast as I could to get to it. Unfortunately, it wasn't fast enough. They had left without me only 5 minutes before I got there. What was I supposed to do now? Luckily I had practiced flying on my own to Hawaii where I met my parents only a few months before (awesome by the way), otherwise I really would have been clueless and even more scared.

I headed back to the previous gate where I asked what I was supposed to do. She directed me to the airline's help desk where they got me on the next nights' flight, found me a hotel room, gave me vouchers for 3 meals, told me where to catch the shuttle, and asked me to wait while they located my bags. And wait I did. I sat there by that desk talking to a boy who was also waiting for his bags. He was in the army and was making his way back to some base in California. He asked if I wanted to go find some fun things to do in the city once we got our things. I said sure! Naive...I know. Seriously! Oh. My. Gosh! LeAnn! Get a clue! I mean, at this point it was 1:00 A.M. or something. You know the Holy Ghost goes to bed at midnight ;) Well, to be fair, he was just about a young and scared as I was, but still...

Luckily (yet at the time it seemed very unlucky), our bags did not surface until 4:00 AM. I was exhausted. I bid the Army guy adieu and found my way to the shuttle. When I got there I explained to the shuttle driver my situation, but he wouldn't let me get on. I needed a voucher. I didn't have one. I went back to the desk only to find it vacant with no one in sight. I had had enough. I hailed a taxi instead. $20 later for my little 5 minute drive and one pissed off taxi driver because I didn't tip him, I was at Circus Circus in Las Vegas. No where close to where I was supposed to be. I checked in, threw myself into a heap on the bed in my room and cried. Holy Cow! I CRIED!

I did not need this! I was scared, sad, frustrated and just about any other pitiful adjective you can come up with and this little kink was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was ready to throw in the towel and catch the Greyhound home. Forget the internship for a major that I loved, but questioned it's relevance, and doubted I would finish. Forget the job that everyone in my major envied. FORGET IT! I wanted to go home.

The crying didn't last too long though because my emotions soon gave way to exhaustion and I crashed. I slept for a whole whopping 5 hours.

When I woke up, I called my mom and cried some more. I'm sure she said something like, "Buck up, you'll be fine." (because it sounds like something I would say).  I decided to do just that, buck up and make the most of my day. I had been to Las Vegas once before so I really didn't know my way around very well, and I didn't know what there was to do. So I walked. I had to check out of the hotel, but I wasn't about to carry 3 months worth of stuff around the streets of Las Vegas so I found a place in the hotel to hold my bags (a.k.a. more people to tip), then I hit the strip, or maybe it's not the strip, it's the "new strip" or some boulevard. I have no idea, I've never really been back.

I walked up and down and in and out of all sorts of hotels and casinos. I saw all sorts of strange people. I was dripping with 110 degree sweat and was running out of energy fast. I was actually pretty bored doing all this stuff by myself too. So when I saw a movie theater, I walked right in. I didn't care what was playing or that it was rated R (Gladiator, actually pretty good but not very nap inducing). After 2.5 hours of freezing cold bliss, I headed back out into the desert with the weirdies and I just wanted out of there. I had seen all I could see for free within 10 blocks of my hotel, and I really just wanted to get on that plane. After using my last voucher for dinner, and handing over the last of my cash to get my bags back, I climbed in a shuttle that didn't have a voucher Natzi and headed to the airport 6 hours before my flight. I wasn't going to miss it this time.

As soon as I was checked in I found a payphone and decided I need to talk to him. Him who? Shane of course. Actually, I took a moment to decide if it was weird of me to call him. Then, I didn't care. I really needed to talk to him. I was always happy when I talked to him.  I dialed, but I had the number wrong. Up until this point, if I wanted to talk to Shane I just walked over to his house. So, I called my sweet roommates. Talked to them for a few minutes all while sobbing and asked for Shane's number before hanging up.

I was thrilled when I called and he was home. He talked to me for an hour (probably until I had run out of minutes on my calling card). We didn't talk about anything in particular really. In fact, he was the only person I talked to who I didn't break down into tears for, because that would have been far too embarrassing. I felt one million times better after we talked. Maybe LeAnn was chicken but Corn... she could do this.

I got on the next plane at midnight and spent the next 5 hours crammed in between a very large man and a freezing cold wall. I slept about 1 hour.

As soon as I stepped off that plane I was hit with a wall of thick, stinky, hot, humid air.  I couldn't even breath. Welcome to Florida! I had actually made it. Another overpriced taxi ride, a short bus trip, a two hour wait in a very scary bus terminal in Miami, and a three hour, hot, stinky bus trip to a small island in the Florida Keys called Lower Matacumbe Key and I was there. I was FINALLY there.

As I looked out the windows on my bus ride from Miami to the middle of the Keys I noticed something that surprised me. It stunk. BAD. There was a stale, rotting, fishy smell EVERYWHERE. I also noticed that from what I could see, paradise was kind of gross. There were many run down, old buildings, lots of fishing camps along the side of the bridges and lobster traps EVERYWHERE. I think they were the major source of the smell.

Where was the paradise I expected after going to Hawaii? Where was the paradise that Jimmy Buffet crooned about in just about every one of his songs. What about KEY LARGO and the beach boys for crying out loud!?! I was so disappointed. The water was nothing to behold either. In the fall and winter the wind blows in the keys but in the summer it hardly blows at all. The water gets really stale and murky and there are no waves because of the reefs. Any sandy beaches are actually man made and almost exclusively private. In fact any private clubs or resorts were very nice, but just that... private.  Natural beaches in the keys are rocky and mostly covered in mangrove trees and smelly seaweed (a little FYI for ya). I didn't know any of this and It was kind of a let down.

Regardless, I was finally there, I was exhausted and I was late. One of the girls in management handed me a pile of white polo shirts and a pair of tan shorts, showed me where my dorm was, and pointed me to a bare mattress on the top bunk. I asked her where the bedding was and she looked at me like I was crazy. Uh... no one told me I had to bring bedding! She found me a sheet and a pillow that might as well been made from bricks then took me to a training meeting. It had already started so instead of taking a much needed nap, I had to walk into a quiet crowd of about 60 kids my age with everyone's eyes on me (not my favorite thing, being the shy kid I was and still am).  After that training meeting, we had a flag ceremony (something I grew to dread) and it was time for dinner. As I walked towards the mess hall alone, I was suddenly surrounded by a handful of people who were obviously BYU students. They introduced themselves. At first I was a little overwhelmed by them. While I wanted nothing more than to be in the comfort of my home in Provo, I didn't necessarily want to be surrounded by more BYU co-eds. I wanted to be surrounded by MY BYU co-eds. So I was probably stand-off-ish at first, but I hope I was nice.

where's waldo?

It did feel a little better to know that I had something in common with someone there, even if I had never seen any of them at all. There was a twiggy young boy who would be working in the kitchen with me, a blond Georgia Peach, a tall, blond and burly kid who was actually going to the Olympic trials that summer for shot put, another girl like me who was from the west, A tall, thin dark haired kid, the oldest of the bunch, and a cute surfer looking boy. In all I think we had somewhere around 8 LDS kids there. A couple were from a different school.

I quickly found a need to protect myself as I was one of about 15 girls amongst the staff. 15 girls and 70+ guys when you included the boat captains all crammed onto this little 2 acre plot of land on a tiny little key. It created a shortage, shall we say, and suddenly all the boys were even talking to little old me. This is when I came up with a big old lie to use as a "stick" so they would keep their distance. The attention was absolutely foreign and I certainly wasn't used to brushing off boys left and right. What did I say? I told them I had a boyfriend. His name?... Shane. It worked. The boys still talked to me but I didn't feel so "hunted" once everyone was well aware that I was taken.

The first few days were a blur and might as well have been a year. The kitchen was easy work but miserable. Besides the other BYU student who was in the kitchen, there were some pretty harsh boys. The likes of which I had never encountered in my circles in little Provo, Utah. I felt like I was in prison, although I did my best to be happy or at least pretend to be happy. Fake it till you make it. I spent my nights curled in a freezing ball under my little sheet because despite the raging heat outside, our air conditioner worked very well. One of my roommates (who had a plush and warm comforter from home) was for some reason in charge of temperature control. My ears ached all day because the pillow was just awful (I've mentioned my freakishly sensitive ears before). Still, I kept telling myself that it's not natural to be so unhappy when you are surrounded by this:

Despite my initial disgust for the keys, It was BEAUTIFUL! Especially at dawn/dusk and night when it wasn't so blasted hot. Every sunset was a different color.

The scenery wasn't the only beautiful thing there. Within days of arriving at Sea Base I couldn't help but notice one little bit of eye candy amongst the crowd. He was tall, had messy curly hair (something I have always had a thing for), he was tan, and buff. I didn't know who he was, but I wanted to find out. Come to find out he was a boat captain. Captain Craig. He really was something to behold. Or at least I thought so. He was something new to focus on at least.

More in a few days :)

Next Chapter

Tied in knots

My kids LOVE pretzels. Actually, I should say that Roman LOVES pretzels. The others just like them.

Big, soft, crunchy, small... Roman LOVES pretzels.

The other day while routing around the internet for some recipes, I came across a soft pretzel recipe and printed it out just in case I was feeling ambitious some day.

Sunday was that day I guess.

In case you want to try, this is the recipe we used:

Home Made Soft Pretzels:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/homemade-soft-pretzels-recipe/index.html

The kids had a lot of fun trying to roll out the dough. I couldn't seem to get it thin enough. I guess I needed to be a little more patient.

Oh, sad little boy.

After you make the pretzel shape, you boil them soda water for 1/2 a minute. It's strange, but I think that's how they get their texture.

Then bake, do a little pretzel dance (a very important step)...
 

 

and voila!

The only problem was that the pretzels and the oiled parchment paper became inseparable once they were baked. I just had to cut it off. The second batch I just baked on a non-stick cookie sheet and that was much better.

Next time, if there is a next time, I will probably just do pretzel bites. The pretzels were big, a little cumbersome and a little too much by the end. Little bite size pieces would be so much better I think.

Roman liked them. I didn't think it was worth all the trouble, but I guess it wasn't bad for the occasional treat.

Have you tried any fun or interesting recipes lately?

Why Bother?

Friday morning I asked Roman to clean his room. He did. And in an effort to catch up on my weekly job list I got to work myself.

Roman left for school and I worked and worked and worked while Marisa and Ezra had pretend picnics, read books and in general left me to my business.

While I did this:

Just in case you can't tell.... this is clean (the pile of toys in the corner is typically scattered throughout our living room and beyond) And I used the carpet cleaner on our couch too.

They did this:

Somewhere under all that stuff is Roman's bed that he had made

The floor was clean when he left for school too.

I'm wondering if a clean house will ever be something I can look forward to or if I should just forget it because it's not going to happen until..... never.

Cinq

 What could be more fitting for the week of Valentines Day than more of my little tale, so here we go:

 In case you need to catch up:


It Begins
Deux
Trois
Quatre


I left his apartment shortly after wondering what on earth had possessed me to go BY MYSELF to that little dark apartment to unload my embarrassment. 

That was really the tip of the sword for me. I was no longer intimidated by P.O.'d Shane.

That winter semester was the point when I really got to know Shane a little better. His friend Danny was almost always over at his house so I would go to his apartment and hang out now and then or go talk to them while they played pool. Danny was...just about as opposite to me as you can get. I was quiet, naive and a little clueless and he was a little obnoxious, loud, rude, funny, etc. I still wonder what kept me going back because I think they got more than a few laughs at my expense. Not really mean, but I always left wondering if they liked talking to me or just liked having someone to tease.

I didn't really care much what they thought though because I was not really interested in Shane. I was still 19 at the time and he was 26 years old and about to graduate. Looking back, and now it doesn't seem that much older than me, but at the time, he was OLD.... Like OLD OLD. Not to mention that I was still just about as naive as they come and had very few life experiences. Shane says he wouldn't have given me the time of day if he wasn't a little interested in me but I'm not buying it. I also don't forget the fact that he was mildly interested in another girl in our apartment complex.

I continued to spend a lot of time at apartment #34 but I was more settled and stopped caring about my little crush on Jeff and just enjoyed the time we all spent together. I was happier that way and it was good.

In February, I had some interviews for summer employment that would count towards an internship for my major. I interviewed for Aspen Grove, the Church run family camp up the road that had really been my dream job since I was a small child, a ranch up in Wyoming, and Sea Base Boy Scout Camp in Florida. I had interviewed with both Aspen Grove and Sea Base the year before and had been turned down so I didn't expect much from either of them, despite great interviews, but I still hoped. I mean, who wouldn't want to spend their summer in the Florida Keys or playing in the beautiful Utah Mountains?

Meanwhile, with February comes Valentines Day. Oh Valentines Day. How I despised thee! I always hated the holiday because I was one of too many that are left wanting on that day, watching those that always seemed to have boyfriends or at least a date get flowers, candies, balloons, etc. I never really cared much for any of the stuff but the attention seemed pleasant enough.

Instead of throwing myself a pity party that year, I made some cookies. Because cookies makes everything seem just a little better. I took some to apartment #34 and while I was at it, I took some to Danny and Shane as well. In return. I got my very first valentine from a BOY since elementary school. It was....not sweet. It was filled with jokes and funny messages but it was more than anyone else bothered to put together. It made me think... maybe Shane did consider me a friend.

February also brought a impromptu mini-vacation with Jeff, Joe and a girl named Kelsey, who I think Jeff had a thing for... but who can say really. It was just a hunch. I thought it might be miserable to be there with Jeff, flirting with this girl. Luckily, It turned out to be really fun!

We drove to Moab as soon as we could all get away, actually I drove to Moab because I was the only one with car that would fit all of us. We got there pretty late so it was basically, eat and go to bed. I don't remember why, but we didn't have a single tent between the four of us. Moab is in Southern Utah, where it's warm-er, but it WAS February. The night was long, cold and pretty miserable. When the sun was finally coming up and we decided to give up trying to sleep, we all had a thick layer of frost on our sleeping bags. We got in the car, turned on that wonderful heat producing engine and ate our cold pop tarts. Only in College.

The rest of the day was spent hiking Arches National Park and enjoying the warm weather. It was beautiful and so much fun! We had planned to stay another night but the thought of another sleepless night on the cold frost covered ground was just too much so we drove home instead.

You would think a fun weekend trip to Moab with Jeff would have sent me right back into my silly crush but it didn't. I wouldn't say it was totally gone, but I didn't think about it all very much any more. The fact that my semester at school was absolutely kicking my butt and I kept getting sick didn't help things either. I started the semester with a minor sledding accident followed by food poisoning, then it was cold after cold after cold.

February passed into March and suddenly I was struck with the realization that many of my friends would be graduating. Jeff, Joe, Brent, Shane, Courtney & Lindsay... All graduating. Moving on! NOOOOOO!!!!! Life as I knew it was going to be over. AGAIN! I was going to have to move out for the summer in order to complete my internship, and by the time I got back they would for sure be on their way.  I was so frustrated by my inability to stop time.

It was also during this semester that I found I would bump into Shane on campus quite a bit. I would be heading to class just as he was coming home and we saw each other on the south hill of campus almost every other day. He also came out of another class just as I was starting class in the same building so we would spend a few minutes talking then too. I started to make an effort to be at these little "bump-into-each-other" spots. I always looked forward to them. 


April held the key to my future. It was then that I found out that I was NOT offered a job by the family camp up the road, came to realize that being a cowgirl in Wyoming was NOT going to work, and had an offer to work in the kitchen at Sea Base. I was also given an offer to take my aunt's place in the Hill Comorah Pageant.  This is a summer long play in Northwestern New York about the beginning of the LDS church for those who don't know. I was torn. I knew that I needed the internship for my major that I was still not very committed to. I "knew" that ANY job at Sea Base was nothing to turn your nose up at since just about every kid in my major applied.  And while acting/singing isn't exactly my forte, I couldn't deny that it would be a fun and unique thing to do. But what I really wanted was to work at Aspen Grove. And they didn't want me.

I went to Shane for advice. He was good at advice. He listened, gave reasonable solutions and told you the way it was. I liked that. It was refreshing when it seemed like most people just gave sugar coated advice, or said what they thought you wanted to hear. I don't remember exactly what he told me, but I ended up deciding that I should go to Florida, even though I would just be a kitchen slave (how this qualifies as an internship for Youth Leadership is questionable, but it did.) I bought the tickets and accepted the job. I was committed.

School ended and Shane was moving out. He didn't have a "real" job yet so he just moved to the apartment complex across the street for the summer but I wasn't sure I would see him much anymore. I did. I would trot across the street and visit him, watch movies or just talk. He could often be found in our living room just hanging out to avoid his very strange roommate.  While things seemed to be heading towards a very good friendship or maybe more, I wasn't going there. I had had nearly a year of liking Jeff, all while wondering what in the heck he thought and I was sick of it! I was not going there!!! Besides, I was a lot younger than he was, and taller and goofier... what could he possibly see in me?

One day we were talking out in front of his building when out of nowhere.... Lloydel! Can you believe it!? It felt SO good to say hello, and then pretty much shut him down and continued my conversation with Shane. OK, I probably wasn't that rude, but I wasn't the giggly, drooling 19 year old he remembered. I was 20 years old now and SO much more mature. ;)  Well, I had moved on anyway.

School was out and I had a month before I had to be in Florida.  Mel up and left us so she could make key chains in Spain. SPAIN! Brent and Joe went on another prancing tour, Kristy moved back in,YEAH!, and unfortunately Jaquie did to. Jacquie (can you tell I have no idea how to spell her name? It had a Q... that's all I know.)  I have to say, we were not kind to her. We were probably crabby to start with because all our friends were gone or moving on, but she kept moving my stuff...This was a daily, if not hourly occurrence, and it drove me  (and poor Kristy who had to spend the whole summer with her) crazy! I was really starting to look forward to moving out. It also drove me over to Shane's place more.

 Before I knew it, it was time to pack up my things and get on that airplane. A week or so before I left I put my hair into a bunch of tiny braids (corn rows)... It was something I liked doing in the summer. The first thing Shane said when he saw them was, "You need a new name to go with your hair. Let's see....Corn Bread!" This, my friends, was the start of a nickname (it has been shortened to just Corn) that has stuck with me for 11 years!  I also saw it as quite endearing for some reason. I wrote in my journal that I might be starting to like this Shane guy and I must be crazy because he was SO not the kind of guy I would imagine I would date. He was not like anyone I had met before.


The day before I left we spent HOURS talking and throwing a Frisbee.  He said he was going to miss me, but in a way that wasn't lovey dovey or creepy, mind you. In fact, Jeff had said something to that effect as well, so that tells you how much it meant to me. But, suddenly, I didn't want to go. It went against every fiber to get on that plane. The night I left, I went to dinner with Shane, Jeff, Brent and Jason. I gave Brent a big hug as I loaded up the car. I shook Shane's hand and said, "Later for you." It was weird. I wanted to hug him because he was turning into a better friend than any of them, but suddenly I was freaking out and not wanting to like him for fear of a lifetime spent in a miserable one sided crush or worse, he would go get himself a job and leave me in the dust.

Jeff, Joe, Kristy and Danielle took me to the airport and walked me to my gate. Remember when you could do that? I sat there waiting to board my plane while I watched them walk away and I wanted to die.

For the first time in my life I was going somewhere where I wouldn't know one single person.  I was literally flying away from my home and "family." They really were my family since my real family was so scattered, all my siblings married with kids, and our home wasn't our home anymore. Now they were going to be 2000+ miles away and moving on without me.  It took everything I had to not say "forget this" and run after them, begging them to take me home. I held back tears as I sat there alone. I thought I couldn't possibly feel any worse than I did at that moment. Boy, was I wrong...

More on this... Later :)

Next Chapter

By The way... I SO wish that digital cameras were around back then. I'm sure they had been invented and all but they were far from mainstream. I have so few pictures it's sad. And the ones I do have are pretty poor quality. I'm so glad that you can take as many pictures as you want now and it doesn't cost anything till you have them printed.

A Better Monday Night

Yesterday was the best day of my kids' lives. Or so it would seem. Roman and Marisa were very into Valentines Day this year. Marisa couldn't get enough of the pink and hearts and candy. And Roman was so excited to get treats at school on Monday that he was having a hard time sleeping the night before.

This is just minutes before bedtime, can we say a little too much sugar? (Sorry about the quality and shaking. The ipod is limited and by no means feel obligated to watch the whole thing)



CRAZY KIDS!

We also had a much more successful FHE last night. I recently remembered that I had bought some FHE kits way back before I even had kids so I've been pulling these out and using them. I think I should make an effort to make a few more lessons like these. They are a little cheesy, but they seem to do a better job at getting my kids' attention.

They lined up their chairs to listen to the story and raised their hands when they had an answer. Cute.

Yesterday we talked about Honesty and the kids just LOVED the little lie monster that kept growing and getting more legs. They liked figuring out how to make the lie get smaller so that the little boy could be happy again.

What silly kids I have.

Then, we had heart shaped cheesecakes of which no one ate except me. I live with a bunch of crazies I tell you!

Oh well. Hope you all had as much fun on V-day as my kids did.

I Think I Can, I Think I Can

Today was Roman's 1st grade program.

It was The Little Train That Could. It was super cute and just the right length. Don't you hate those programs where your butt starts to hurt on the hard metal chairs and Ezra looses interest and start whining for something to do and Marisa suddenly has to pee like she hasn't peed in years? Oh wait... that's scarament meeting... uh, I mean... Scratch that.

Like I said, it was cute and fun and not too long.

Roman hadn't really told us much about it until we got the little invite, but he had rehearsed the entire program to Ezra one night as they were going to sleep. He got to "THE END" and we didn't hear another word after that. CUTE!

We weren't exactly sure what his part was or anything.

Turns out he was one of the narrators. We figure this is probably because he's an AWESOME reader. He did great!

He sang all of the songs and did all the actions like a pro. It was super cute.

I can't believe he's old enough for this. I totally remember my first grade program. I remember wearing my favorite red velvet dress that was WAY too small it cut off the circulation in my arms.

Quatre

Are you ready for more of the story? I am.

In case you need to catch up:
It Begins
Deux
Trois

We waited for the evening to cool a little, I had some errands to run first, but when I got home we saddled up and took off. All I expected was a little pony ride really. Maybe a few laps around the block and a "smell ya later."  Was I in for a surprise.

First he drove us up to Provo Canyon but the wind was making things miserable so he turned around. We headed back down 9th East towards home but he drove right on past and into Springville. We turned around again and before I knew it we were at the edge of Utah Lake watching the airplanes land and take off.  It was a BEAUTIFUL night. One that only someone who has been in Utah in the summer might understand. Summer nights in Utah have to be one of my favorite things. Cool, but far from cold, crickets, stars, mountains, breezes. if it weren't for those those darn mosquitoes it would just about be perfection.

We sat. We talked. About what? Who knows. I'm not sure I knew what we were talking about WHILE we were talking. I do distinctively remember telling him a chubby story or two though. Does anyone remember/know the chubby stories? The ones where you smash your face together and tell a little story about a boy named Chubby and his chubby family? No?... My brothers better, they are the ones who taught them to me.  Needless to say, it was not my most refined moment in life. 


We watched the airplanes and spotted constellations for what felt like a long time and just when I thought the night couldn't get any better....we went home. Apparently, It couldn't. 


I came home and confided in Mel (another roommate) for hours about what was going on. I don't think I laid it all out on the table but I was confused and need an outsider's opinion. She didn't help things by saying something like, "Jeff never takes ANYONE on that long of motorcycle rides." True or false, those words sent me packing. Right back into la la land.


I was on top of the world and having a good time. A lot of time was spent working, I went on an amazing backpacking trip to Zions National Park with my roommates, Jackie and Mel, and a few other friends from the apartment complex. I went to Lake Powell for a few days with a high school friend. Ahhh.. Seriously, I had it REALLY good.

Beautiful Zion National Park

I came home from one of these trips to a newly repaired car thanks to my parents and the rest of the summer to look forward to when I got some news from my parents I was NOT ready for. They had sold their house.

I obviously knew it was for sale. I think they put up the sign as soon as I moved out. But, it had been for sale off and on since I was 15 years old. I hadn't prepared myself for what it would be like for that large red house at the end of Timpview Drive to not be home any more. I cried. A lot. Kristy was home. She comforted me. Poor Kristy, she seemed to get the brunt of my emotional breakdowns that summer. 

Celebrating the pending return of our friends Joe and Brent

Sometime soon after this, Brent and Joe came home and everything seemed to snap back to normal including the way Jeff treated me. I was just one of the girls again and was given very little time of day. But it didn't matter. My little crush took a back burner for a few weeks while I helped my parents clear out 35+ years of stuff and memories. I packed up the rest of my belongings and I planned a weekend trip to Idaho to take my two cats and our family dog to the family farm where my sister lived. Yes, it was a real farm and not one of the metaphorical farms where you take unwanted animals.

While this has nothing to do with my silly little love life, it's so sad its funny, so I'm including it:


I had packed up my car, and picked up my two cats Tiger, and Oscar and our dog Cruiser to take to the farm. None of these animals lived in the house so they hadn't been forced to get along with each other and so they didn't. The cats hated the dog and the dog wanted to wrestle with the cute little balls of fur.  This posed as quite the problem since we had no animal crates whatsoever. 

We had read somewhere that cats do pretty well in the car if you tie them up in a cotton pillow case. So that's what we did. We put the poor cats in pillow cases and I tied Cruiser's leash to the back seat of the car and I set out on the 4 hour drive to Idaho alone. I'm sure my mom wanted me to take another student with me but I was reluctant to put someone else through that.


The first hour wasn't so bad. The cats were whiny and the dog drooled all over my back seat and caked it with fur but we made it to Salt Lake quickly and things were off to a good start until I hit Bountiful and I was stuck in traffic for nearly an hour and half. This would have been fine except for my car had a tendency to overheat. And overheat it did. The only way to keep my car from going downhill fast was to turn on the heater in the car to give all that heat on the engine some place to go. So I did... I had to. It's just that it was nearly 100 degrees outside and my poor animals were just dying. Oscar, my poor, fluffy, long haired cat started to howl. I started to panic. I finally got to a point where I could get off the freeway and I parked my car in some shade. The only thing I could do was wait. I couldn't even turn around and go home because my car's transmission was so hot it wouldn't shift out of first gear.


I let Oscar out of his pillowcase only for him to flip out at the sight of our dog and nearly kill us all in the process. Somehow I managed to get him back in the pillowcase and tied it so only his head could stick out. I dumped some water on his fur to help with the heat.  When I was sure traffic had to be better and the engine and transmission cooled I started back towards Idaho.  I made it... SEVEN hours later with a cat on my lap, the other cat huddled in a helpless ball on the floor, and a hyperactive dog that had been tied up WAY too long. I let my cats loose only to have them dart out of sight never to be seen by me again. :(  The dog, however, lived happily for many years on the farm.  I made it home a few days later without incident.


Anyway, Joe and Brent made it home and things went back to "normal." Kristy moved out (sad) but still came over often, then school started and we all had to be a little more responsible. The summer with the most fun and the least amount of responsibility of my life was over. 

Apt. #18 Fall 1999

Some point between when Joe and Brent left on their trip and when they came back, Shane became more of the mix. I don't remember how or when, but he just did.  He still never came to FHE, I know he didn't come play with us much. But suddenly, he would be around for those times when we were just hanging out. Occasionally I would visit his apartment along with one of the boys from #34 or a roommate, but I never approached him alone. September 1, 1999 was the first time I mentioned Shane in my journal... I wrote: "I talked to Shane and Jeff tonight." September 2, 1999 I wrote this:


"I lied! Yesterday Kristy asked me flat out if I liked Jeff and I flat out said NO! and even worse, I said that I could never like him. I felt stupid after that because I probably should have told the truth. I was afraid everyone would jump on it and it would get back to him and that would be HORRIBLE!!!"  Ah to be 19 again. Actually, I'm pretty glad I only had to do it once.  Sorry Kristy!


I wish I could say that with the end of summer came the end of the crush...but it lingered. It probably worsened. People I didn't even know very well were asking what was up with us. I didn't know what to say. We still spent a lot of time together. But it was becoming more and more apparent that we were simply destined to be friends. If he weren't so tall, that would have been easier to accept I'm sure. There is just something about being around tall people when you are tall. It makes you feel less monstrous and I don't know if there are many girls out there that enjoy feeling big. I didn't. 


All semester I changed from liking that I liked him to hating that I liked him almost daily. I think it had something to do with the moodiness Kristy mentioned in the last comments. It was a roller coaster and if you cared even a little, you were along for the ride. 


Work and school took up most of my time whether I liked it or not. The fun was definitely hindered by responsibility. We occasionally did some fun things as a group.  There were more "something to do" outings with Jeff. Things like going to lunch together, or an evening at a haunted house. But like I said, we were becoming awfully good friends, but that's it. I kind of felt like I was forcing something that just wasn't there. But I had nothing else to do... or should I say no one else. 


In the mean time Shane became someone that we all talked to regularly, usually in passing. I remember going to his apartment the day his grandpa died. I think I was with my roommate at the time. I don't remember why we went in the first place. It could have been another FHE recruitment outing. But it just goes to show that he was not on my radar at the time. We enjoyed the entertaining antics that he and his rebellious friend with nasty facial hair would come up with. I may or may not have been an aid in giving him the name pissed off Shane around this time. In my defense, weak as it may be, we had to make some sort of distinction because there was another Shane with dark hair within our larger circle of friends. One was overtly happy, and well.... you get the idea.


Before I knew it the semester was over and everyone was going home for the holidays. I had nowhere to go. Oh! That was depressing. Home for me was an empty cabin that was under construction and I wanted very little to do with it.  Needless to say, I was one of a very small handful of people left at Sparks that Christmas break. It made getting close to anyone who was still around really easy. Bet you can't guess who was still around that Christmas. No... it wasn't Jeff, it wasn't Shane either. It was Jeremiah Bruce. A shy computer whiz that had started hanging around our apartment.  We kept each other from going crazy that Christmas break but no crushes started to form...mind you.  Shane did come back to Utah earlier than most people and we talked a little. Still, I was probably a little intimidated by him seeing as I don't think I ever made a point to see him on my own.


Until one winter day the next semester. While walking home from school, I was almost home and I still needed to cross 900 East, not exactly the quietest road in Provo.  For one reason or another I hadn't crossed at the light and was just waiting for the traffic to break so I could jaywalk.  My moment had come and I darted across the street so I could get to the other side before the break was gone. I was about 1/4 across the street when suddenly my 300 lb backpack suddenly didn't feel so heavy anymore. My zipper had failed or I had failed to zip it, not sure which,  and EVERYTHING was scattered across two lanes of wet road with cars approaching quickly. 


I picked everything up while cars semi-patiently waited, gathered up some pride and finished crossing the road with a whole 4 lanes of spectators. LOVELY! I finally made it to the other side and ran home. 


I'm not sure what it is about me, but as you can tell, I like telling my embarrassing stories. I think it makes it seem less of a big deal to me if I'm willing to laugh about it too. So I was a little disappointed when no one was home in apartment #34 to tell about my little mishap. However, instead of going home and wallowing in my embarrassment, I went a few more yards down the walk to apartment #37. Shane was home. Still flushed from embarrassment, and running from my little audience I told him the funny thing that had just happened to me. 


I think he was a little surprised that I came and told him. Or maybe he just thought I was extremely strange (he doesn't remember it).  Frankly, I left his apartment shortly after wondering what on earth had possessed me to go BY MYSELF to that little dark apartment to unload my embarrassment. 

That was really the tip of the sword for me. I was no longer intimidated by P.O.'d Shane.


and.. time for a break

Next Chapter

You didn't think I was so long winded did you? Or maybe you did. I don't know. ;) I hope this isn't boring.

Random

I haven't had much to blog about. I  wrote a whole long whiny blog about all my woes and didn't publish it. I just needed to get it out and It's just better left unpublished. The basic idea was that motherhood has it's moments, and I'm over it.

Since blogging and picture taking seem to go hand in hand for me you might also guess that the last picture I posted over two weeks ago was the last picture I took for that entire two weeks. UNHEARD OF! The doldrums of winter have hit and I'm SO desperately ready for it to warm up so we can go outside.  Or at least crawl out from under our blankets.

So, as we were waiting for the Super Bowl to start yesterday I decided to just pull out my camera and see what I could capture.

Marisa was the only one in the mood for holding still long enough to play along so I got some fun ones of her:

Ezra, would have nothing to do with holding still. Big surprise.

Roman, who usually LOVES being in the spotlight, was more interested in the zoom-o.

Then he watched and waited for dinner to finish

Mmmmm. The final football party of the year.

Blocks

Static (our new red chair is a static machine)

Have a great day!